I have abandoned Him. I have rejected Him for decisions I do not agree with. He may come to me when He is ready to give me what I want. And I want EVERYTHING. I want Him to spread Himself open for me so that I may poor myself into Him and fill Him completely with me. If I could force myself upon Him I would. I have tried and failed. He must choose to surrender Himself to me, as I have surrendered to Him. I have let Him fill me to where all I Know is Him. And yet I can still walk away. Without His complete surrender, I am free. And I don’t want to be free. I want to be His slave and His master. I want to push Him into the space between sanity and madness. I want to lean Him over the edge and at the last second pull Him back in. I want to make His heart race and His whole body shake with fear and then I want to make Love to Him.
Am I right? Am I wrong? What does it matter?
I Am that I Am.